Don't Be a Picklebump

He sat there on the curb – a ghost in the swing of my headlights. He was dressed in tan coveralls. The circular lenses of his eyeglasses flashing as the light reflected in them. His face was gaunt and there was something about him – an air of tiredness – that reminded me of some of the pictures I’ve seen from Great Depression. He was worker at one of the refineries or chemical plants in the area I suppose.

I relate to him because I feel his tiredness in my own existence. It’s crept in gradually, but it is there. In the moments of quiet when I’m sitting in my car, I feel it weighing on me. I wake up with it and find myself wanting to pull the blankets over my head and go back to sleep. And if R is around – sometimes it spills out and I’m cranky with him and I hate being that way. My temper is short and I think I’ve officially lost my sense of humor.

My diet hasn’t helping. I’ve been eating out more than I should and quite frankly, I feel like crap. I realized how bad it was this weekend when I was coming home from doing the things I love – photography and gardening – and realizing that I was exhausted.  And so this evening, I fought the urge to pull into a fast food place and get a quick bite. Instead I came home, pulled out a chicken, cleaned it, put in the oven to roast and an hour later, I had a healthy meal. The good news is that doing this, puts me that much closer to eating locally. I’m getting rid of the food from box commercial establishments buy eating it. It may not be “whole” food, but at least I have a better idea of what I’m putting in my mouth that if some else prepares it. At least I’m not wasting it – I have lunch for the next three days.

And when I am done, I’ll replace these commercial products with ones that locally grown and definitely a lot more sustainable. And as the crap clears from my body, I know I’ll probably feel worse for awhile before I feel better. But with plenty of rest and water, I know I will get through the detox phase and come out feeling healthier. 

And so it begins, cutting out processed foods and moving to a local diet. And with that I bid you all good night so I can get a good 8 hours. I just want to feel better.