Aug
31
2008
August has been exhausting. Two and a half weeks ago I lost my older half brother. A week and half ago, I travelled to California for the funeral. The trip involved too little sleep and too much wine and a lot of emotions. The last week has been spent trying to recover. I have never been so tired in all of my life. I’m hoping that this week will be better simply because I am finally settling back into my routine and this week shouldn’t have any variations in the routine.
Having a brother die, makes you aware of how short time really is on earth. When a parent or grandparent passes, we still change those things we know we need to, but there’s still the gap of years between you and your folks that makes it appear that we still have more time. We don’t really have to be in a hurry. Yet when a sibling dies, a sense of urgency comes in that wasnt there before. You realize that death can come at any time and that you need to start living. Except right now, I’m so damn tired that all I want to do is sleep.
So right now, I focus on getting things in order so I can do the things I want in the future. Some of this is going to take time to resolve. Some of this I can do right now. But its time to focus on living and not being burdened down by mental and physical stuff. Its time to live life to the fullest so that I can look back and not have a regret for not having lived my life well.
no comments | tags: Death, Dying, Funeral, Parent, Sibling, That's Life | posted in That's Life
Aug
26
2008
Every morning when I check my e-mail, a quote of the day pops up and most of the time I ignore it even though I really like quotes (I admit I’m probably one of the few people in the US who still has a Bartlett’s Quotations). But today’s quote is really a good one:
Fate loves the fearless. – James Russell Lowell
I wonder what it would be like to live a life that is fearless – to boldly go where you must go. To not wonder what’s next in life. To not wonder when the other shoe is going to drop. I’m working on fearless living. I’m working on stepping outside my boxes and pursuing my passions. I want to know that I have a life well lived.
no comments | tags: That's Life | posted in That's Life
Aug
25
2008
Sorry for the lack of updates, Life has interfered and my priorities have been offline and not here.I’m down 20 lbs and have kept the 20 lbs off despite numerous challenges.
Eduardo turned out to be el-duddo but it was a good practice run. A few days after that I found out my brother passed away after dealing with a numerous health problems. The last week and half has been spent traveling to California, going to the funeral, and spending time with my family, particularly my sisters – with the rest of the time spent getting back into the work groove.
The goal right now is to drop sodium intake, rest up and recover from the last month, and work on my stretching for the next month. The drop in sodium means food intake will have to be cleaned up.
no comments | tags: The Year of Paula | posted in Weighty Matters
