When I started writing blogs, I don’t think I was as careful about what I put out there as I am now. It was when I first encountered bloggers Dooce and The Pioneer Woman that I realized that it may be possible to put out too much information about your life online. Dooce’s about message and subsequent messages which mention lawsuits from a past employer, made me realize that it is possible to lose your job because of what you write. So I am very careful in that regard. I don’t ever talk about the specifics of what I am doing, nor do I mention co-workers and good or bad situations I may be experiencing.
And while I admire them both for parlaying their writing/photography skills into something that pays the bills, I’m not such a fan of the exposure their kids get on the blog. Being a kid is hard enough without your parent exposing your good and bad days to the world. Adults have the ability to speak up and say, please don’t write about this or post pictures of me. Kids, particularly babies, don’t have this ability because the parent is the power person in the relationship.
R. often ribs me about the fact that something we joke about or talk about is going to end up “on the internet.” I could share a lot with you about R but I don’t because it makes him uncomfortable. So when I write blog posts, they relate to things that I think about or am contemplating. I choose not to air any fights or drama between myself and the people I am involved with because I take the old fashioned stance that it’s between them and me. Instead I focus on current issues that are important to me, the good things in my life, and my mad skills as a photographer. There’s enough negativity edited into the news media. Time to edit some positiveness in this world.
For the last ten weeks, I’ve been working on my creativity. Most every morning at Oh Dark 30, you’ll find me on my couch, coffee cup in one hand, pen in the other, and cat leaning against my leg while I write three pages of stream of consciousness. It doesn’t matter what I write as long as I do this daily says author Julia Cameron, author and creator of The Artist’s Way. And once a week, you’ll find me out on a date with myself to help spur my creativity. I was doubtful about this whole process when I started, but after almost completing the first go-around, I’m hooked. I’ve cleared some mental hurdles and started making profound changes in my personal life. I’m better able to concentrate at-home-art and work-related technical projects. And I’m happy.
My creativity is through the roof. I’m writing more. I am working with my camera more. I’ve made some investments in software and equipment. I’m bolder and asking people if I can take photographs. I’m trying new types of projects.
I still have a lot to accomplish, but I’m looking at it as more of a creative endeavour instead of work. If doing the laundry tonight means means that I have more time to do something creative tomorrow, then I’m doing the laundry tonight. If eating healthful foods and exercising means that I have more energy, mobility and stamina for photography, I’m all over it. Plus cooking is a creative outlet in-and-of-itself and as I become more of a locavore, I’m becoming more picky about how things are prepared. If spending a little money means that my supplies are at my fingertips and I’ve got a great space to work in, then it’s money well spent.
For the first time in a while, I’m in a place that is creative and good. I’m loving it!
Recently, I’ve been doing some geneology research and some personal writing because of working with the Artist’s Way materials. Both have an interesting effect on me – I, in effect, become my own white rabbit and end up chasing people and ideas down the rabbit hole to find what I am looking for.
In the geneology research, it’s more about finding where the lineage ends with a particular person. I click the little leaf indicator on a person’s record and I start looking at the data and adding more information for the generation prior to the person I’m looking at. I keep this cycle going until I can’t go back any further and then I start the same process over again. Sometimes I end up with some really funky data, but this is just the foundation of further research about my ancestors.
My morning pages are the same thing except I am delving into myself and trying to discover my motives for certain behaviors that I want to change. It generally starts with an observation about the thing I want to change and then a string of questions that ask what do I get out of the current behavior. If I were to read them aloud, I’d sound like a three year old asking “Why Mommy? How Mommy?” “What Mommy?” Eventually I get to a point where I can turn it around. I build a mental and written model of what I want to achieve.
If it’s something that I’ve done before, I try to include the feelings that activity or change created and what I was doing when I experienced that feeling. Writing down those memories remind me that I can do it and have done it in the past. If it’s something new, I imagine the benefits of the change and how I feel once I have accomplished it. How will it add to my life? What will it change?
Rabbit holes can be good things and they allow you to explore your personal wonderlands.
When is the last time you took really good care of yourself? I’m talking about making sure you are eating great, minimally processed foods; getting plenty of sleep; exercising; and making sure that you not just sitting in front of a computer or a TV zoning out? Honestly, more of us, including myself, need to practice radical self care. We are over-scheduled, suffering from a lack of sleep, stressed out from _______________, and not coping because we are not taking care of ourselves. Most people want to take better care of themselves, but don’t know where to start.
Start slow and make incremental changes. I burst into tears the night I figured out I needed some radical self care because I was completely overwhelmed with all that I thought I had “to take care of.” After crying it out, I realized that I was being a perfectionist and that my first step in radical self care was that I was going to have to set aside that perfectionism. I sat back and thought about what would be the best thing for me to focus on. I decided it was sleep. The amount of sleep I have directly affects my mood, my ability to get the daily stuff done, my ability to be a good employee and my ability to avoid snacking.
I put a plan in place that focused on getting more sleep. It meant telling folks that after a certain time I’m not going to answer the phone because I’m getting ready for or already in bed. It means turning the TV and/or computer off at a reasonable hour so that I can wind down. Experts say that TVs can interfere with your ability to go to sleep.
It’s taken me a few months to get my overall numbers for sleep up to 7-8 hours a night. And I’m only human because occassionally I have still have a late night. But those don’t happen as often as they used to. The best thing though is that I feel better because I am well rested. I’m able to better manage other aspects of my life
because my batteries are recharged.
For me, sleep is the cornerstone of my new radicial self care foundation. Incorporating it into my life, has led me to make other changes such as improved food habits and more movement.
Take a little time for you and figure out what your your first step in radical self care is.
I’ll admit, I’ve been fascinated by Jessica’s Daily Affirmation since it popped up on Facebook last week. If you haven’t seen it, check it out:
What I love about this little girl is she is enthusiastic, positive, and the moves she puts with her affirmations. You know she’s serious about liking her life. When was the last time you were that positive about your family, your home, your job or your [fill in the blank with the item of your choice]?
I think we could all take a lesson from this young lady. Instead of focusing about what we hate about our lives, why not focus on what we like? Taking my queue from Miss Jessica:
“I can do anything!”
“I like my apartment.”
“I like my eyes.”
“I like my hair.”
“I like my boyfriend.”
“I like my cat.”
“I can do anything!”
“I like my brain.”
“I like my smile.”
“I like my garden.”
“I like my friends.”
“I can do Anything GOOD!”
The plan was that Monday I would start tracking calories, working out, and generally getting my health back on track. However, in the words of Julia Sweeny, “God Said, Ha!” to that plan. Instead, yours truly caught a cold, had a fever and was miserable Sunday, Monday and most of yesterday.
So here I am at the middle of the week and still raring to go! I’m ready for the change. I feel better when I’m working out and eating right. Tonight after I get done here, I’m off to make my grocery list (that and the shopping was supposed to be done on Sunday) so that I can get that taken care of tomorrow night after work.
Making lifestyle changes isn’t a matter of when. It’s a matter of starting right where you are at no matter what.
Over the course of the last month and half, I’ve taken the time to make sure that I’ve recovered from the shock of my Mom’s death. I’ve made sure I’ve gotten plenty of sleep and I’ve worked on making sure that I’m eating right – not too much, not too little, and that I’m not over-indulging.
While giving my mother’s eulogy, my brother pointed out the obvious – my mother died of a disease that didn’t have to happen. If she would have taken better care of herself, she would have never gotten diabetes and all the subsequent complications that came with it – kidney disease, dialysis and a host of other problems. His challenge to us the day that we memorialized her was to take care of ourselves – eat the right food and exercise.
He’s right. Mom died of something that was preventable. But because she wouldn’t make the needed changes, Mom ended up with a life that ultimately did not involve a high quality of life. There is nothing more frustrating than hearing your mother say “I really wanted some, so I had some of ________” even though it was contra-indicated for her condition.
Throughout the years, we (my siblings) heard a lot of excuses – “I’ll exercise when ___________. I can go to McDonalds and have ______________because the dietitian says that it’s better to have a little bit than to crave ________.” These excuses set my mother up to fail. And it’s easy to see why, in some respects, she did. I received literature from the American Diabetes association that says that it’s OK to have sugar if you are diabetic. How does this set someone up to succeed at managing diabetes or other food related illnesses such as heart disease, cancers, and stroke? They don’t.
If I continue the course that I have been on for the past few months, I will die an early death. Dying early is not an acceptable option for me. I want to live into my 80s, 90s, or 100s and prove the statistics wrong. I want to live a long and full life with my partner-in-crime, R. But that won’t change without a shift in thinking and doing. And my mother’s death is the impetus for making exercise and food habits from sometimes goals to ways of life that I live day in and day out.
I’m not expecting this to be easy. But if my resolve to change my lifestyle makes the difference in one person’s life, then it’s worth it. So Mike, I accept your challenge.
I’ve seen a number of things that made me go “Hmmmm?” lately. But this is one of the wierder ones that made me laugh.
I was doing a computer based training module at work. This particular module was on the Food Pyramid – specifically meat and dairy. Because beans are a good source of protein, they are included by the USDA as part of the Meat group as well as the vegetable group. One of the things that made me shake my head is the inclusion of falafel in the beans group. While falafel are made from garbanzo beans (a.k.a. chickpeas) or fava beans, personally I would not include them in the “bean” group when the rest because they are not in their “whole” state and garbanzo beans are listed. If you are going to include falafel then why not hummus too? Oh wait hummus probably has too fat to be “healthy” because it contains olive oil and Tahini (sesame seed paste). Well falafel are fried people and that isn’t exactly “healthy” either.
Also on the list is tofu, various vegetarian bean burgers, and tempeh (a fermented, cooked soybean cake) and texturized vegetable protein. Call me a bit of a food snob, but why are processed items being included list under “Dried beans and peas”? Also why aren’t these things included on the list under vegetables since you have them listed here? The USDA doesn’t collectively lump processed foods under the grains, they are instead called “refined grains”. Processed dairy is also split out into “Dairy based desserts”, “cheeses”, and “yogurt”. So why the change on Meat and Protein?
There’s a lot of things I don’t like about the food pyramid, but inconsistencies drives me nuts.
Tonight I took Angi’s shopping list that I mentioned in Part I and went window shopping at the local branch of Safeway to price the items on it. Here’s the list with the prices behind the item:
3 apples $1.69/lb
2 banana baby food .65/each
1 qt half/half $2.99
orange juice (tropicana 50) $2.99
2 tomatoes $3.59
2 green peppers .69/each
bag of corn chips (Tostitos family size Restaurant Style) $3.99
healthy snack cookies $3.99
4 Light & Fit Lemon Yogurt (6 Oz cups) .55/each
1/4 lb Genoa Salami $8.49/lb
1/4 lb deli cheese $7.99/lb
1 lb hamburger (assuming 85% lean) $2.71/lb
Coffee (folgers 10.8 oz can) $3.99
Store Rolls .59/each
Chocolate Chip Cookies $2.59
1 6 oz bag spinach $2.99
2 cup sprinkle cheese (8 oz) $2.49
Kashi Cheerios $3.99
Cheerios $3.30
1 Fiber Plus Bars $2.99
1 Kashi Bars $4.99
Mission Bell Low Carb Wraps – Medium Sized $4.29
Grapes (1 package ~1.5 lbs) $4.79/lb
Strawberries (1 lb) 3.99
The grand total for all of this, was $76.53.
One thing that struck me as I was wandering the supermarket aisles pricing the items on her list is the amount of pre-packaged food that appears to be healthy on the surface but really isn’t all that healthy when you start looking at it – especially for someone with PCOS. Many of the pre-packaged foods are carb heavy even if you take into account the dietary fiber.
But the challenge here twofold: stretching the budgeted dollars so that Angi and her family get more healthy food AND give Angi healthy options so that she has snacks that are portable for her on-the-go work day and that are more balanced towards 40% protein/ 30% carbs /30% Fat.
In the next part, I’ll revamp shopping list, create a menu, and do some shopping.
. And once a week, you’ll find me out on a date with myself to help spur my creativity. I was doubtful about this whole process when I started, but after almost completing the first go-around, I’m hooked. I’ve cleared some mental hurdles and started making profound changes in my personal life. I’m better able to concentrate at-home-art and work-related technical projects. And I’m happy. 
” to that plan. Instead, yours truly caught a cold, had a fever and was miserable Sunday, Monday and most of yesterday.
